A Couple of Changes Going On Around Here!

Hey everyone!

So, I mentioned at the beginning of the year that I would be implementing a couple of changes here and I’ve been doing the work behind the scenes and am now at a point where I’m ready to commit to them. I’ve written it down, and said it publicly, so I am beholden!

Anyway, first change is I’m going to start posting three times a week on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I was finding the Saturday posting often conflicted with family or household events and during the week I *seem* to be more disciplined. There were many times when there was a long lag between Saturday and Wednesday and I was impatient to share something.

Second, I’ve had many readers ask for more information about shopping. Yes, you love my outfits and you learn from them but how to shop? I remember walking into a store and thinking “now what?” Luckily, I no longer hate shopping (quite the opposite in fact!) and I do it more than I should. There are so many times when I’m in a dressing room and I try on an item that would look so good on an apple-shaped woman or a woman with a big bust and I think “my readers would really like this!” but I already have one like that or it’s not my style or not in the budget. Really, how many gray sweaters do I need?

art dress - www.whenthegirlsrule.com
Dress sculpture made of paper

So, to pass the knowledge on I’m starting a new series called “I Would if I Could…”. I will take an i-phone image (so won’t be the best quality or lighting) in the dressing room and tell you where I found the item and why I liked it and why the fit worked. That way, if you’re looking for something similar you can see how it looks on my shape and can go find it for yourself right away. This will also help me with my guilt about sharing an outfit where the items are a couple of years old and are no longer available.

Also, I’m going to start doing videos. There are so many times when I’m figuring out an outfit and I think I should just show everyone this process. “This works with that but not with that — why? If I add this how would it look? Maybe if I change out the shoes it will work?” So many times I want to just show how the fabric moves or stretches and a photograph just doesn’t capture it or I’m stumbling over words trying to explain when a quick video would be all the explanation needed. This is a big step for me and I’ve been hesitant about announcing it because I know very little about the medium. I am trying to teach myself about filming and lighting and sound so bear with me! The videos may suck in the beginning but I promise I will get better!

art dress - www.whenthegirlsrule.com
Outfit from the textile museum in Toronto

I’ll also be photographing more outfits that don’t work and talk about why they don’t work. I’ve been focussed on showing you the good outfits and talking about why they worked but I want to take the time to photograph the bad outfits and analyze why they don’t work. If you’re a regular reader (and especially if you read the comments) you know it takes a couple of viewpoints to analyze the outfit and I think we all learn more when we see a mistake outfit. If you’re not convinced, read this post and the comments here and here.

My whole goal and mission of this blog is to inform women who have the same shape as I do, how to dress confidently. I know this is a rare place on the internet that shows real, practical advice and I want more women to find us. I want women our age and shape to have confidence to take on the next stage of life with knowledge, strength and belief in themselves. My request from all of you is to spread the word. Share on Facebook. Share on Pinterest. Tell a friend or relative (especially when they compliment your outfit!). I don’t mind putting in extra work because I believe in this, but it is easy to get discouraged when it is still an unknown, little blog and I know the need for it is great. Your comments keep me going so thank you for that.

So, to kick off these new initiatives, I thought I’d re-print my shopping tips for apple shapes from last spring with the addition of three more tips that I’ve learned along the way. Here we go!

Seven Tips for Shopping (revised from the earlier version of 4 tips)

I want to talk about shopping today. I know. I know. You’re groaning if you’re an apple-shape. Nothing hits your self confidence more than standing in front of a full length mirror and finding nothing flattering to wear in a giant store full of clothes. I’ve been there. I know the feeling.

If you’re an apple shape, or big-busted, you already know that we are not catered to by the fashion industry and most of the clothing out there will not be flattering. Most brands do not make clothes to fit our shape, so it’s very easy to get discouraged when shopping. We just buy whatever fits (even that is a victory!). The feeling of walking out of a store where you have just spent hard-earned money for something that you’re not crazy about and don’t feel excited to wear is a terrible feeling. I’ve been frustrated by my shape, yes, but I’m just as frustrated that the clothing makers are not even giving me any options.

Believe me when I say it doesn’t have to be that way. Your shopping trips can be more fun and successful, but you have to change your mind-set and approach. While we wait for the fashion industry to catch up with our needs, this is how I’ve figured out how to shop so it’s fun and I find what I need.

art dress - www.whenthegirlsrule.com
More textile art

First, you’re going to have to make more time to shop for yourself and to try things on. I know. Time. A rare commodity, but it is key. No longer can you run into a store on the way to picking up the kids. You can’t wait for the day before a big event to shop. You can’t just shop on your lunch hour. I know it’s hard to find more time in the day, but you’re going to have to give yourself more time to try on lots of items and try out many stores and brands. Yes, I’ll keep writing this blog to help you use your time wisely and I promise you, after awhile, you will have this figured out, so it won’t always take so long. In the meantime, being a shape that is rarely, if ever, considered by clothing designers, you’re going to have to hunt for the rare item that you love and looks fantastic on you.

Second, expect to take lots and lots of items into the dressing room and come out with one or none. Try them all on. I know it’s embarrassing sometimes, especially when there is a employee who has to clean up after you, but don’t give in to that pressure. Give yourself the time to try everything on. Look at yourself with that item on and notice what you like about it and what you don’t. I will easily take 30 items into a changing room and come out with one or two. Often I come out with none. Just expect that outcome and adjust your expectations. Just think of yourself as a rare jewel and only rare items of clothing will be worthy to drape over the jewel!

Third, now take the item home and try it on with what you already have. Were you under a spell in the changing room? Does it look good with what you were planning to pair it with? Will it work in more than one outfit? Do you already have the shoes or accessories to go with it? If you don’t, are you planning or willing to purchase them to make the item work? Is it comfortable? Are you tugging or adjusting it a lot? Try it on with lots of items you already own because sometimes there are some unexpected, positive combinations already there. If it’s not working at home, or if you have doubts, take it back. Trust me, you will find something else out there.

Fourth, until you become familiar with a brand and their sizing don’t order online. I know that’s frustrating to hear, but it is very discouraging to have 5 items sent to your house and then having to return them all, especially if you have to pay for shipping. It will make you feel more discouraged, or worse, you will keep things that don’t work for you. When you figure out a brand and their sizing then it will be fine and you can shop all you want online.

Fifth, Shop while wearing tall boots (unless it’s too warm, but try!). That way if you decide to try on a skirt or dress you won’t be standing there with bare legs and rumpled socks. You will automatically look more pulled together in the dressing room and you’ll feel better about your reflection. Tall boots will fit under most pants too. It will give you a better idea of how that item will look and your self-esteem won’t take a hit. Honestly ladies, it’s these little things.

Sixth, go to a store that has lots and lots of choices. If I go into a store that has a minimal design aesthetic, chances are they will only have small, medium and large sizes and not much for our shape. Some small boutiques cater to a larger woman and you’ll know right away when you start looking at the clothes. However, there are also large department stores that only carry a couple of items from each brand and I can never find something that fits, so beware of those too. At least when you’re starting out, having a lot to choose from will better your chances.

Seventh, and most important, when you’re in the dressing room and you try on something that doesn’t work, repeat to yourself “It’s not me. It’s the clothes.” Remember that. Fabric and sewing and design need to change, not your body. Often it’s just lazy design. Yes, you can change parts of your body, but you shouldn’t have to to find clothing. Stupid clothes are just bad designs. So remember, “It’s not me. It’s the clothes”.

Ok, happy shopping and I’ll be back on Friday with a new post. Let’s do this ladies!!!!

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14 Comments

  1. Great post, great everything. I am so glad you will be giving “dressing room” suggestions to purchase. As an apple I know what I want but it can be hard to find it when I am at the store.

    Per your caution against online shopping. I do agree. Sometimes I buy online but only from shops where I know I can return to an actual store. I am a Nordstrom shopper so if it doesn’t work, no harm. I return the item and then do more focused shopping as you suggest. Or if it works, great.

    Some of my favorite fashion bloggers (Sal at Already Pretty and Ally at Wardrobe Oxygen) changing directions. I am thrilled you are here!

    1. Thank you Jane! I love both of those ladies’ blogs too. Nordstrom is one of those stores (at least my local one) where they don’t have a lot in the actual store, so I mostly shop online with them. Luckily they are so easy with exchanges. So glad you took the time to comment!

  2. Great points with the shopping, Julia! Maybe you mentioned it and I missed it, but I also think alterations can be the key to a great fitting garment. There’s no way in h___ that most things off the rack fit us perfectly, no matter what number your size is!! Knowing what can (and can’t) be changed in alterations, make shopping a better experience too!
    And it’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one who shows the “what doesn’t work” outfits—like today on my blog, LOL! But instead of getting upset at ourselves or the clothing, I think it’s fun to analyze the why’s and figure out for next time.
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  3. Great ideas/goals. girl! I swear we’re on the same wavelength! Video is one of my big goals for this year, I’ve been doing crappy little baby videos to practice and it’s HARD, ha ha. But I’m determined cuz like you, I think it’s so helpful to see movement. I can’t wait to see your dressing room posts, those are some of my favorites that bloggers do.

    Wish we could meet for lunch (or a cocktail!) some time and brainstorm!

    Best of luck with all your new goals, I think everything sounds great!

    Bettye

    1. Oh my gosh, we are on the same wavelength! I was thinking how I’m planning on getting to New York City this year (never been) for my 50th and how I could meet you in person! Ok, definitely happening now. Yes, video has so many things you never think of until you start doing it (how dumb does my voice sound?) and so much to plan for but I’m determined! Can’t wait to see yours!

  4. I love the art in this post —

    Here’s another shopping tip, but it does contradict the “wear tall boots” one. I prefer to wear slip-on shoes w/ no socks so I don’t have to deal with laces or zippers or socks. It’s just easier. It also allows me to try everything on without having to sit down in the dressing room to put shoes back on.

    Looking forward to more frequent posts from you!

  5. I would recommend making sure you get a 360 degree view if possible in the dressing room. I have tried on things and thought “Oh, I really like that”, only to get a glimpse of the rear view and immediately decide “NOPE!” I have resorted to using the selfie view on my cell phone to get a look if the dressing room doesn’t have a good mirror.

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