Refreshed & Ready To Go!

Hey everyone! Thank you all for coming to the blog birthday party and for your kind words and emails. Two years is a long time for me to do anything and I feel as enthused about the blog as I did when I started. In fact, I have some creative ideas I’d like to try out in the next coming months that I’m excited about! I’m here for the long haul and look forward to many more birthday parties!

Over 40 fashion for women with apple shapes! whenthegirlsrule.com

I really enjoyed my two week break, not from the blog, but from everything that surrounds it, especially the social media. I love writing the blog and get a lot out of it, but sometimes it feels like it’s just a never-ending treadmill with the social media marketing part of it and you just have to post, post, post! It definitely seems like it’s about quantity rather than quality and I just needed a break from looking at it and being a part of it.

Over 40 fashion for women with apple shapes! whenthegirlsrule.com

I’m also back in Michigan and needed to re-adjust to life here. As you can see in these pictures, spring has definitely not sprung yet and this going back and forth between the states is hard, physically and mentally. I will be staying here in Michigan for a while because the re-entry between lives is getting harder and harder. As you know, my life in Michigan is very different than my life would be in North Carolina. In Michigan, I live on a ten acre horse farm. In North Carolina, I would be living in a suburb of a large city. I could embrace either fully but going back and forth between the two is taking it’s toll. I’m someone who needs to be all-in or all-out, and this jaggedy attempt to move has me living half lives instead.

Over 40 fashion for women with apple shapes! whenthegirlsrule.com

So, to sum up the last year: My husband moved to another state a year ago, we tried to sell our house in Michigan to no avail, we bought a house in North Carolina, my eldest daughter, who lived away for six months of the year and came back to finish up her degree, is graduating and moving out in a couple of weeks, my youngest went to France for a semester, came back and started college. This sounds like a crazy year just writing about it!

Through this all, I’ve been trying to be the glue holding things together which meant that my life had to be put on hold and I’ve had to keep myself nimble to accept whatever situation I found myself in. That is fine. I recognize that’s my job. But, it’s been hard and I’ve had a sick feeling in my stomach about moving myself and my animals for the last year.

Since I’ve had too many spinning plates in the air, my husband and I agreed that I’m staying put, for awhile, here in Michigan. I feel more stability with this decision, though this is far from ideal. Don’t worry, my marriage is fine! Lots of couples don’t live together and we really hope it’s for a short duration. We hope to one day look back at this and laugh and feel like we made it through a marriage test. Though, sometimes it feels like we’re laughing because the alternative is crying.

Over 40 fashion for women with apple shapes! whenthegirlsrule.com

I’ve said this before, I know these are first world problems, and not that big in the scheme of things. I know lots of women go through the same family transitions and come out just fine. The feeling I find the hardest to deal with is being in limbo or waiting. I hate waiting. When I’m waiting, I’m dependent upon someone else’s actions to move forward. I am a person who likes to be in control of her situation, as I’m sure we all do.

Over 40 fashion for women with apple shapes! whenthegirlsrule.com

I usually try to leave these posts on a positive note, not just because I want you to feel positive and confident but because I also feel the boost of positivity and confidence, so let me tell you, I am actively working on getting out of this limbo and making it through this stage in my life. I am molding my future rather than waiting. I will come out smarter and stronger and will be using my gifts to their fullest extent. Below is one of my favorite quotes that I always try to remember from Marianne Williamson and even if you’re not into the God part of it, like me, it is still a powerful human-being credo:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I love that line about powerful beyond measure. It always makes me feel like I’m going to burst with light. Whenever I feel like I’m waiting for permission to show my awesomeness I try to remember this quote and remember that I don’t have to wait for the permission in the first place.

Oh, the clothing. The dress is old from Ann Taylor though they have the same fabric (ponte) and cut of dress (sheath) in two other striped dresses here and here. I found this jacket , (plus size here) that goes with black or navy since the dress in some lighting looks navy and some lighting looks black. Finishing off with this (similar) pretty versatile bag.

Thank you all for listening to me. I honestly write these as if I’m talking to a girlfriend. And I know you probably signed up for this blog to get fashion tips and you’re getting more than you bargained for, but thanks for being there. I’ll talk to you all on Wednesday!

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16 Comments

  1. Oh, Julia! I can relate to this on so many levels, including the back and forth of living two different lives and how jarring that is. In reading your words, when you described the return to Michigan as a way to mold your own life instead of letting it mold you, I felt a spaciousness open up, like you could breathe again. Or maybe it was just me breathing, relating so much to your words.

    Here’s hoping for more solid ground beneath your feet and a more manageable path ahead.

    Hugs,
    Sherry

    1. Thank you Sherry! I forgot you travel back and forth too. I figured that was for an aging parent. I’m really trying to take hold of this next stage of life and you’re right, the waiting is like holding your breath. It was just one to many uncertainties. Thank you for your kind words and I wish the same to you!

  2. I hate moving! You are so right not being in control is hard on us. I do hope you sell your farm soon so that you can be in one place.
    I have missed you and look forward to poss. I’m in dire need of new clothes!
    Good luck with transitions!

  3. Stay strong! I’m writing this from my new apartment in China ! My husband and I have been apart on and off for most of our marriage and while it’s difficult it has made us stronger. At one point he lived in China alone. Our children are all college aged now so I’m traveling “some” with him but not all the time so for now we also split between two homes. You’ll get to the other side and be ok! Keep your chin up and keep blogging. Love to see other women who look like me make it work! From China….Becky

    1. Becky! You are my role model! Honestly, thank you for saying that! It feels that these distances either make or break a marriage. I can’t imagine doing it with young children. I will gladly show you how to dress stylishly if you keep reminding me that I (and all the women like me) will be ok! And China! That must be exciting/interesting/different. Thanks for writing and letting me “meet” you!

      1. My husband jokes that I’m in “fashion hell” here since first none of the clothes are my size and secondly I have a show obsession, specially anything blingy or flatform style. My first home is Florida. Anyway, I wear a 9wide shoe or a 9 1/2 regular which does not exist here. Hence my “fashion hell” where I can look but can’t buy. I’m a 14-16 and the largest size is about a 10. Sigh. Purses it will have to be. You’ll get through this time alone. Stay strong!!

  4. That outfit is perfect and so cute! I can sympathize with your feelings–I don’t like uncertainty or not being to change a situation! In times like this, you can only focus on the present and trust that you are where you should be, for this moment….things always change in time…Thanks for reminding me of that quote from Marianne Williamson, it has always been a favorite of mine, too!

    1. That quote is so powerful in so many ways I think. I have to remember that things are always changing and I need to stay nimble. Usually I am but I think b/c I love my farm in Michigan I’ve been dragging my feet on this one. Thanks for joining the conversation!

  5. I may START reading a blog for the fashion tips…but I STAY for the writers personality! So don’t sell yourself short, I think many of us are here for more than just the fashion!

    Good to have you back…sorry you’re in a holding pattern with your life and homes right now.

    This outfit, So Cute!

    Bettye
    https://fashionschlub.com

    1. Yes, I have to remember that because I do the same thing. I actually feel better now than I have for the last year with this holding pattern b/c I’m staying put. Up until a few weeks ago I was thinking I was going to have to put the house back on the market and have strangers come through it. At least now I’m here and started some seedlings for my garden. Haven’t done that in years!

  6. So pleased to discover your blog, having followed you for a while on Instagram (that always sounds a bit stalker-ish!). Love the outfit, very chic and ideal for business wear. I went through a similar transition many years ago when we were living by the sea and then my first husband got a job in London. We quickly found a flat there but I had to spend weekdays in Devon and then drive to London every Friday night (a 5 hour trip) and then back on Sunday night. It was exhausting, but mostly these things are only temporary and show us how resilient we truly are.

  7. It sounds like you’ll be fine … and eventually you’ll figure out how things will work out. Meanwhile, write about whatever you want to, we’ll keep on reading.

    I really love those shoes.

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