Hey everyone! Thank you all for coming to the blog birthday party and for your kind words and emails. Two years is a long time for me to do anything and I feel as enthused about the blog as I did when I started. In fact, I have some creative ideas I’d like to try out in the next coming months that I’m excited about! I’m here for the long haul and look forward to many more birthday parties!
I really enjoyed my two week break, not from the blog, but from everything that surrounds it, especially the social media. I love writing the blog and get a lot out of it, but sometimes it feels like it’s just a never-ending treadmill with the social media marketing part of it and you just have to post, post, post! It definitely seems like it’s about quantity rather than quality and I just needed a break from looking at it and being a part of it.
I’m also back in Michigan and needed to re-adjust to life here. As you can see in these pictures, spring has definitely not sprung yet and this going back and forth between the states is hard, physically and mentally. I will be staying here in Michigan for a while because the re-entry between lives is getting harder and harder. As you know, my life in Michigan is very different than my life would be in North Carolina. In Michigan, I live on a ten acre horse farm. In North Carolina, I would be living in a suburb of a large city. I could embrace either fully but going back and forth between the two is taking it’s toll. I’m someone who needs to be all-in or all-out, and this jaggedy attempt to move has me living half lives instead.
So, to sum up the last year: My husband moved to another state a year ago, we tried to sell our house in Michigan to no avail, we bought a house in North Carolina, my eldest daughter, who lived away for six months of the year and came back to finish up her degree, is graduating and moving out in a couple of weeks, my youngest went to France for a semester, came back and started college. This sounds like a crazy year just writing about it!
Through this all, I’ve been trying to be the glue holding things together which meant that my life had to be put on hold and I’ve had to keep myself nimble to accept whatever situation I found myself in. That is fine. I recognize that’s my job. But, it’s been hard and I’ve had a sick feeling in my stomach about moving myself and my animals for the last year.
Since I’ve had too many spinning plates in the air, my husband and I agreed that I’m staying put, for awhile, here in Michigan. I feel more stability with this decision, though this is far from ideal. Don’t worry, my marriage is fine! Lots of couples don’t live together and we really hope it’s for a short duration. We hope to one day look back at this and laugh and feel like we made it through a marriage test. Though, sometimes it feels like we’re laughing because the alternative is crying.
I’ve said this before, I know these are first world problems, and not that big in the scheme of things. I know lots of women go through the same family transitions and come out just fine. The feeling I find the hardest to deal with is being in limbo or waiting. I hate waiting. When I’m waiting, I’m dependent upon someone else’s actions to move forward. I am a person who likes to be in control of her situation, as I’m sure we all do.
I usually try to leave these posts on a positive note, not just because I want you to feel positive and confident but because I also feel the boost of positivity and confidence, so let me tell you, I am actively working on getting out of this limbo and making it through this stage in my life. I am molding my future rather than waiting. I will come out smarter and stronger and will be using my gifts to their fullest extent. Below is one of my favorite quotes that I always try to remember from Marianne Williamson and even if you’re not into the God part of it, like me, it is still a powerful human-being credo:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I love that line about powerful beyond measure. It always makes me feel like I’m going to burst with light. Whenever I feel like I’m waiting for permission to show my awesomeness I try to remember this quote and remember that I don’t have to wait for the permission in the first place.
Oh, the clothing. The dress is old from Ann Taylor though they have the same fabric (ponte) and cut of dress (sheath) in two other striped dresses here and here. I found this jacket , (plus size here) that goes with black or navy since the dress in some lighting looks navy and some lighting looks black. Finishing off with this (similar) pretty versatile bag.
Thank you all for listening to me. I honestly write these as if I’m talking to a girlfriend. And I know you probably signed up for this blog to get fashion tips and you’re getting more than you bargained for, but thanks for being there. I’ll talk to you all on Wednesday!