Sweater Weather!

Hey everyone! I know I’ve said this before but autumn is my absolute favorite season. I love how the leaves are so beautiful but I also love how the plants are not such blindingly green but are more subtle colors and you can start to appreciate the structure of the plant rather than just the color. I think I appreciate every beautiful day more knowing that winter is right around the corner too!

Sweater for apple-shape | www.whenthegirlsrule.com

It’s also sweater season and as an apple-shaped woman there is a lot of selection for us if we get the fabric right. I definitely don’t want anything too clingy or form-fitting so it’s a balance to have some shape so it doesn’t look like I’m wearing a bag but it needs to skim and hang flatteringly. This sweater is actually a light cotton fabric, in kind of a waffle weave so it has substance from the knit but is light from the material.

Sweater for apple-shape | www.whenthegirlsrule.com

As we proved in this post  when the top has a pattern it looks more like a complete outfit than a solid colored top. I was drawn to the design on the sweater since it’s so interesting and has pattern but is not overwhelming. I tried a necklace with this but felt it was competing with the design so I ditched it.

Sweater for apple-shape | www.whenthegirlsrule.com

I completed this cozy look with my black booties from last year (similar here and here), black leggings and my pretty bag which is back in stock now!

Sweater for apple-shape | www.whenthegirlsrule.com

And lastly, I debated whether to talk about the #MeToo phenomenon where women are coming forward to say that they have been sexually harassed. I don’t want this space to be political, though I know sexual harassment affects women of all political persuasions (and size and age and color and ethnicity and religion and… sigh). I debated with myself that this is a fashion site that helps women dress better but further thinking made me realize this is a “confidence site”. I want women to be more confident and clothes just happen to be the focus.

So, let me say, #MeToo. I was harassed at age 15 by my boss who was at least twice my age, by a coworker at a non-profit who I went to my supervisor about, and then I was let go, and by a Congressman who finally went down in flames when he was a big-city mayor when one woman (not me) had the courage to speak up.

Now, I’m not looking for sympathy or to discuss this to death because if you’re female, you already know about this. But, if you are a male, this might be new to you and I’d like to move this discussion forward so it’s not just us women discussing it over a glass of wine. I think the best way to do that is to enlist the men in our lives as our allies. The easiest way is to ask them to say “Dude, that’s not cool” when they hear something sexist. Yes, they can say and do more but I’ll take that.

Ok everyone, I’m really liking this idea that this is a “confidence site” and it seems like it has legs, especially as a mission statement. I want to keep this place fresh, not just for you, but for me too. Well, let’s see where this goes!

Linking up with Jennie at Pocket Full of Polka Dots!

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20 Comments

  1. I’ve been reading all the “Me Too”s too…and I guess I have been fortunate in that I can’t recall an actual feeling of ever being sexually harassed…although I do get some pretty ridiculous comments on my FashionSchlub instagram…and I HAVE always had people (well, yeah, men) tell me to SMILE, which pisses me off to no end, but it never felt sexual, just…annoying.

    Maybe some harassment is “in the eye of the beholder”? Not to diminish ANYONE’S experiences or feelings, but I suppose, like with everything, people have different bars for what they consider acceptable or tolerable. I’ve mostly tended to just let things pass over me – I don’t anger easily…so maybe I have a high bar for that sort of thing. But my heart goes out to anyone who DOES feel they’ve been harrassed…or worse! I’m Facebook friends with a woman and her daughter…and it was heartwrenching to read the mother’s sadness and outrage when she read her daughter’s “me too” story.

    Whatta world, no?

    PS – your legs look amazing in those leggings! (ha ha now I feel like I’m making an inappropriate comment!)

    1. Gosh Instagram creeps have been active lately haven’t they? And yes, everyone has their own perception, both the giver and the receiver so it’s something we all have to sort out. Of course, touching inappropriately is a no-brainer and the suggestion to “smile” is super annoying. Though, I’d never tell a man to smile, so what’s that whole thing about? And thanks about my legs. I think of that as a compliment to my fashion choices, not harassment, though I could see how it could be taken that way. I think we all need to have this discussion so we can figure this out and move forward. It’s a complicated topic that needs to be discussed and thoughtfully agreed on what makes up a civilized society. Onward and upward!

  2. The Chicos website says the bag is out of stock :(. I purchased the pumpkin colored bag and love it!!!

    Thank you so much for your blog. It has been so helpful for my apple body shape. Can’t wait to see more.

  3. I appreciate your statement. I was half expecting you to go the opposite direction and maybe downplay the facebook sharing. I, for one, was not planning on sharing until I saw a male friend’s comment that he was feeling sad because the me too’s were from women he had not expected. That’s when I decided courage was in order. It’s amazing how much it took for me to type those few letters and let them free into the internets. A small step.

    1. Yes Kitty. Small steps. Small acts of courage. You only need 15 seconds of bravery to do something amazing. I think your comment is so interesting b/c your male friend said the #metoo’s were from women he wasn’t expecting. I wonder what women he was expecting? I know part of why I didn’t speak up when I was young was b/c I thought it was just happening to me. I’m older and wiser now and am surprised when I hear from a female that hasn’t felt that way. Good on you!

  4. Thank you for including the #metoo discussion. It is indeed important. I have been lucky, only catcalls when I was younger, and have a super supportive hubby who is very respectful to women. His parents raised him right, and I think it helped he has sisters! I love the focus on “confidence.” I am trying to embrace my apple shape, I work with a lot of very skinny, very young women, but this site is helping a lot and I have tried a bunch of new looks!

    1. So true about men having sisters. My husband didn’t have any, and he’s respectful, but he doesn’t get a lot of our antics — especially from his teenager daughters! I’m so glad to help and I’d love to hear what has worked and what hasn’t sometime.

  5. As a busty teenager I couldn’t go anywhere without being catcalled or having creepoids pull their cars up next to me to offer me a “ride” while I was walking home from school. More than once, men pet me (think like a cat) while I was waiting at a bus stop — and one kept coming back to that stop to wait for me. None of the adults in my world seemed to think it was a problem even though I was authentically frightened — even now, writing this, I’m getting a chill remembering it, and those were the 1970s!! So my “me too” includes saying that I’m thrilled that we are all starting the conversation that will hopefully move our society toward this kind of behavior becoming rare or better, extinct.

    1. Thank you for sharing your experience. It does sound scary to me. I think we always need to first let in the sunshine on these issues then figure out how to stop repeating this. I guess we’re bringing in the sun right now and hopefully soon we’ll move to the next phase. We’ll see…

  6. Really like the grey sweater look – for you specifically and in general. And thanks for the #MeToo posting.

    Like you, I have also faced it on the job, and in ways where I felt that I was at risk of losing my job if I said anything. I was single at the time, and could not afford to be let go. I found a way of making it stop, and preventing it from going to the next level –but initially he isolated me and withheld meaningful work in retaliation. I eventually filed a formal complaint for the latter behavior (but not the sexual harassment) only after applying to, and being accepted in, a graduate university program. I needed to have a way out of the situation, which was only ever partly resolved. He was removed from the organization, but not labelled a harasser, and not fired (and given several plum “consulting” assignments as a way of saving face).

    1. Thank you Laura for sharing your story. I was shaking my head in agreement at several points while reading it. Good for you for filing the complaint. Maybe it didn’t hurt him in any way but let’s hope it alerted the company or maybe HR or maybe just one other person that this behavior does occur and needs to stop. I really can’t say any more positive things about your story except that we’re bringing it out into the open and talking about it. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the beginning of the end of this behavior.

  7. I really like the cool texture of your sweater! It looks really great with your black jeans, booties, and fantastic leopard bag.

    I think just about every woman has had at least one #metoo experience, which is really sad. I know my sons were raised to respect women and I do not believe they would ever intentionally do or say anything to make a woman feel bad. While this is a hot button topic I think it would be a good time to have a refresher discussion to make sure we are all on the same page.

    Thanks for linking up with Fabulous Friday!

    Jennie – A Pocketful of Polka Dots

    1. Thanks for dropping by Jennie! In fact, I was just visiting your blog at the same time. Funny! I have daughters, not sons, but I do think the sons are key to turning this around. I can preach to my daughters all day long, but really we need the sons to see it, stop it and believe it. Thanks for raising respectful ones!

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